Special Edition: Environmentalist Wacko Super Bowl Pick
With Rush Limbaugh inevitably pulling for his beloved Steelers, it’s once again left to me to make the most accurate, non-biased Environmentalist Wacko pick possible. In this year’s Super Bowl, there’s no doubt who the environmentalist wacko element will be cheering on to victory. So here’s the breakdown...
Super Bowl XL: Seattle Seahawks vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
This Sunday marks the fortieth Super Bowl in NFL history, and it’s a classic match-up between two diametrically opposed forces. One sideline will host the beloved Seahawks – noble and elegant flying creatures of the animal kingdom (and a bird granted special ‘victim status’ due to the adverse effects of human-created DDT on its pristine habitat). The opposing sideline will be encroached upon by the imperialist swagger of Steelers – evil money-grubbing capitalist pigs who spew pollution into the atmosphere via their mechanized factories of death and destruction (not to mention that their steel manufacturing enables the greatest evil the planet has even known – the sports utility vehicle or ‘SUV’)…
Unfortunately, crass commercialism requires that this game be played on a neutral, pre-determined field, forcing our beloved Seahawks to leave the comfortable confines of their blue-state stadium packed with cheering latte-sipping liberals in exchange for a less than desirable playing surface. The executive ranks of the NFL are infested with bigoted, homophobic white Anglo-Saxon males, one of whom anointed the city of Detroit as host of Super Bowl LV. For those who are unaware, Detroit is a city built upon the broken backs of slave laborers who were forced to work in the sweatshop factories of the anti-Semitic robber baron Henry Ford – the very same Satan-like figure for whom Sunday’s playing surface is named.
Forced to play in a city that promotes capitalism and celebrates the manufacture of automobiles, steel, and pollution, the Seahawks will be at a serious disadvantage. However, nature always triumphs over the evils of capitalism. The presence of a large contingent of environmentalist protestors and anti-SUV terrorists (courtesy of the Earth Liberation Front) holding signs and chanting outside the gates of Ford Field will inspire the Seahawks to soar to greater and greater heights…
The Seahawks will pull out a mythical fourth-quarter victory as the “skin of a pig” (even in death, animals are superior to humans) soars triumphantly through the very goal posts erected the by the evil capitalist steel manufacturers themselves…!
Pick: Seattle Seahawks 24, Pittsburgh Steelers 21
View last week’s Environmentalist Wacko Pick
Technorati tags: humor, political humor, rush limbaugh, politics, republicans, conservatives, sports
Super Bowl XL: Seattle Seahawks vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
This Sunday marks the fortieth Super Bowl in NFL history, and it’s a classic match-up between two diametrically opposed forces. One sideline will host the beloved Seahawks – noble and elegant flying creatures of the animal kingdom (and a bird granted special ‘victim status’ due to the adverse effects of human-created DDT on its pristine habitat). The opposing sideline will be encroached upon by the imperialist swagger of Steelers – evil money-grubbing capitalist pigs who spew pollution into the atmosphere via their mechanized factories of death and destruction (not to mention that their steel manufacturing enables the greatest evil the planet has even known – the sports utility vehicle or ‘SUV’)…
Unfortunately, crass commercialism requires that this game be played on a neutral, pre-determined field, forcing our beloved Seahawks to leave the comfortable confines of their blue-state stadium packed with cheering latte-sipping liberals in exchange for a less than desirable playing surface. The executive ranks of the NFL are infested with bigoted, homophobic white Anglo-Saxon males, one of whom anointed the city of Detroit as host of Super Bowl LV. For those who are unaware, Detroit is a city built upon the broken backs of slave laborers who were forced to work in the sweatshop factories of the anti-Semitic robber baron Henry Ford – the very same Satan-like figure for whom Sunday’s playing surface is named.
Forced to play in a city that promotes capitalism and celebrates the manufacture of automobiles, steel, and pollution, the Seahawks will be at a serious disadvantage. However, nature always triumphs over the evils of capitalism. The presence of a large contingent of environmentalist protestors and anti-SUV terrorists (courtesy of the Earth Liberation Front) holding signs and chanting outside the gates of Ford Field will inspire the Seahawks to soar to greater and greater heights…
The Seahawks will pull out a mythical fourth-quarter victory as the “skin of a pig” (even in death, animals are superior to humans) soars triumphantly through the very goal posts erected the by the evil capitalist steel manufacturers themselves…!
Pick: Seattle Seahawks 24, Pittsburgh Steelers 21
View last week’s Environmentalist Wacko Pick
Technorati tags: humor, political humor, rush limbaugh, politics, republicans, conservatives, sports
posted by Britt Gillette at 11:23 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home